After work tonight, I went to Blockbuster and rented "Hostage", It better be good, and then I started driving around, listening to some adorable love songs. I pulled into the place where Craig asked me out and this truck pulled in. I got scared so I started my car back up. They came over to my window and started looking in my car and asked "Do you know any of the kids who live there?" (pointing to the "bad boys home") and I said "no" and then he was like "oh, cause we were just looking for a few of them, just thought they might have a ride" (still looking around at my car) and I just brushed it off and I said "I don't know"... he got back in the truck and I drove away, pissed off because I went there to be alone and think. I then drove to the park by my house and was going to get out and just sit there on the benches, but though it was too creepy so I drove away from there too. I eventually ended up driving to the Hess station in Tamaqua to get gas because it's a little cheaper there than Texaco, and then drove past Craig's house. I wanted to call him so bad and tell him to come out so I could see him, but I just couldn't... I drove by, staring at the house, and it just made me miss him more. I took a detour and then got home right before 11. Luckily, my mom was sleeping and my dad wasn't awake yet, or I would have got the "where have you been?" speech. During my "detour", I was listening to "Never Say Goodbye" by Bon Jovi and it made me realize how much I don't want to lose him. Whenever we fight or anything, I get so scared, and I have a feeling that that song will be my new "get me through" song. I just don't want him to ever say goodbye... or let go in the case of my AIM icon. I should have never said that we never fight because it's becoming a weekly ritual. I miss getting along all the time. I have to try to lighten up A LOT so maybe we can get along again. I actually said that I hated myself earlier because of how much I was caring. (You people probably have noooo idea what the heck I'm talking about, but that's okay... this is for me to vent to, and that's what I'm doing.) And now we're fucking arguing again and I'm going to cry. I can't take fighting with him... :'( I love him...